I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
