Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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