I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
