I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
