I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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