I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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