u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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