she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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