Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
