just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We got so high we made milksteak
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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