I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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