everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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