He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
