What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
