A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
