The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
