hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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