shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
