I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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