i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
