Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
