K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
