What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
