We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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