If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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