so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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