He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
two words...techno handjob
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
