why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
