So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
