U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
