I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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