One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
