Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
