Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The adults are the big ones right?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
