I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
