it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
