Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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