oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
