I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
