morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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