What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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