Just fell off a train. Bad.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
