Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
