i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
