return my video game
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
