A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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