You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
