I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
