Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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