By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
