Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
