I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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